It's back

My breastmilk supply is gaining momentum. Yay! All it took was diligence. I dunno why I'm so undisciplined when it comes to scheduling my activities. I gotta be more organized.

Anyway, I realized this week that I need to give myself a pat on the back for breastfeeding exclusively for 7 months now (As a reward, I deserve more Magnolia Vanilla and Strawberry Ice Cream!!! Hahaha). How did I come to such realization???

Well, I bumped into some of my mommy friends, who got pregnant and gave birth the same time I did and when we would talk about breastfeeding, aba! ako na lang ang breastfeeding and doing it exclusively (without giving formula)! I found it a bit surprising. Didn't think that I was patient and perservering enough to be the "last one standing." Hehehe...

It's even funny how one of my officemates, who gave birth 2 months ago, uses me as her benchmark and breastfeeding "idol." She even feels pressured to match the amount of milk I pump and produce and thinks to her self that she can't match up.

To her consolation, she doesn't need to produce as much milk as I do because every baby's consumption is unique. Likewise, every breastfeeding Mom's supply depends on her baby's demand. In Filipino, kanya-kanya pacing lang yun.

... So after all my breastfeeding crisis panic mode, I'm doing well after all. Whew!

Managers are Out

All the managers in our division are out in a team building today and I feel like blogging, facebook-ing, and updating my multiply site all day! Work and mommy stuff have been keeping me away from the internet. How I wish I could blog, upload pictures everyday! Haaay...

More than a Little Game

I was feeling quite low when I came home from work yesterday. I think I am in a middle of personal crisis. To use, "I think," only means that I am in a bit of a denial stage here (har! har! har!) I've been feeling like this for more than a week now and I am getting tired of my torturing thoughts. Lagot yang mga thoughts na yan sa 'kin! I'll get rid of them soon! Hah!

Anyway, while I was harboring all these mixed feelings in my heart and mind, Polo, who was in in the middle of our bed, beside me and my husband, decided to play a game. He played with his Daddy Marvin, rolled-over, crawled all over, glanced at the tv and then stopped to get my attention in between his cute little baby activities. He kept stopping to look at me, catch my attention, stare me in the eye and then finally smiled when I would smile at him. I tell you, he did this like every 20-30 seconds for 20 minutes.

Hehehe... It felt like he knew that I was having a low day. It seemed as if he was checking up on me, making sure that I wouldn't get all caught up in my world of noisy thoughts. Ganun talaga! He wouldn't move or smile until I looked at him and smiled.

He is such a charmer, a heaven-sent angel at that!

Thank God for Polo Bebe who never fails to surprise me with simple joys that mean more than what One Million Dollars can buy.

More than Random Stuff

It's almost 3:30am and I'm still awake. I searched the net for resources I'll need for a personal Christmas project (which I will reveal within the month, hopefully...). I also catched up on Facebook (it's really addicting!).

Polo just turned 7 months last friday. Wohoo! 5 months to go and I'll probably think of giving up breastfeeding. Talking about breastfeeding... I think, Polo is in another growth spurt (if there is still such a thing for 7 month old infants). It seems that his milk demand has increased! Since, breastfeeding is a supply and demand kind of thing, my supply is yet to follow suit. I had to go on half day leave last thursday and friday morning to nurse him because the milk that I stored the day before didn't seem enough. :-S Good thing, I had the weekend to adjust.

I must admit that I may have been complacent a couple of weeks back. Thinking that I'll never run out of milk, I haven't been dedicated in taking my malunggay pills, drinking enough glasses of water and been lax in my breastpumping schedule. The down-side of it is that, it's my fault. The good-side of it is that I can still do something about it.

That's why over the weekend, I went back to taking my routine. I hope and really pray that my supply will come as expected.

+++

Polo's milestones: He started crawling last saturday. It wasn't the usual 360-degree pivoting on his stomach kind of thing. This time around, he used his feet and arms to push himself forward to get his toy. Cool! Marvin was surprised and ecstatic.

Today, he managed to balance himself in a sitting position. We've been practicing him to sit down with assistance -- our legs and tummies or pillows as support. Tonight, while I was preparing food that his Lola will give him tomorrow (homemade applesauce, yum!), Marvin positioned him on the play mat found in our sala. To everyone's astonishment, Polo sat upright for more than 20-30 minutes. Yey!

These are wonderful milestones I will keep dear in my heart. I'm taking time out now to take note of them before time watermarks them away like footprints in shifting sand.

Not be side-tracked

"See to it that no one captivate you with an empty, seductive philosophy according to the tradition of men, according to the elemental powers of the world and not according to Christ."
Col 2

Now that Marvin and I are learning to become financially educated, smart and wise, I must not lose sight of my Christ's calling to serve and love.

Now, what is the exact details of my calling and purpose? I need to pause for a while and think it through. Seems that I have lost track of my sense of being, my mission and vision for my life. I must retrace my steps before I become totally clueless.

Before and After

The wonders of technology has allowed us to get a glimpse of babies before they are born. He is Polo's 4D Ultrasound when he was 7-8 months in my womb and his 1 day old picture.

Of course they look alike. They are one and the same person. :)

This is Polliepoe today.

Picture was taken at around 5am this morning.

Yep, he was up and about that early!

Yummy!!!

Aug 21 was a National Holiday but the Philippine government decided to move the holiday one day earlier. Polo turned 6 months on Aug 21 but since Marvin and I didn't have work on Aug 20, we decided that giving Polo's his first spoonful of solid food a day early wouldn't hurt.

And Polo's 1st solid food is... (drum roll, pls.)

Mashed Carrots!!!

I took care of the food preparation

Mashed carrots didn't do that to his hair. It's really like that.

But it made his eyes look bigger and open wider!!!

I hope it doesn't make his ears grow long and his two front teeth come out big. LOL!!!

3 weeks after... Mashed potatoes and mashed squash has been added to his menu list. Wonder what we'll let him taste next week...

Thanks to Polo, I am now a Mother

After blogging about Marvin's 1st Father's Day, I decided that I should capture the highlights of my 1st Mother's Day, as well. So here it goes.

Just like our Father's Day Celebration for Marvin, my 1st Mother's day was celebrated in 2 days.

Day1

Marvin promised his officemate, Palom that we'll attend her church wedding that day. We didn't confirm our attendance at their reception because we thought that it would be too late for Polo... So there we were, getting all dressed up with formal attire that saturday morning. Marvin took out his formal barong while I readied my cocktail dress (the only formal wear that still fit me at that time). Polo, on the other hand, didn't have any formal wear so he wore the most dashing onesies he had at that time (thanks to Tita Pia for that!). We almost missed to the church wedding. We arrived during communion. We made it a point to greet Palom and her husband before we left (as proof that we really were there... hehehe).

Since we were all dressed up and had no where to go, we decided to head to my favorite resto in Makati for an intimate family celebration of Mother's Day. Italianni's!!! Love it! Marvin left the task of ordering our food to me. Fickle me finally decided on getting Ziti and their newest Pizza flavor for us. I was delighted because they all turned out to taste sooooo delicioso!

Italianni's!!! I so love this place.

Smoke Salmon Dill ... (something) Pizza. It was a new menu item that time. It's a must try.

Determined to enjoy our mini celebration, we made it a point to take our time and not fret about Polo. True enough, we kept our cool in feeding him. Polo seemed interested to join in our meal so Marvin and I took turns in feeding him milk by the bottle. Since it was a Mother's Day celebration, Marvin took the 1st shift in nursing Polo while I had my fill of our Italian treat.

Marvin on feeding duty, 1st shift

I took the 2nd shift (and then had ate my 2nd serving of pizza and ziti).

Day 2

I woke up early in the morning to express milk for Polo and get ready for a busy day. Even as early as 6am, there were people texting me to send greetings. I used to receive such greetings from friends before. However, the greetings would be addressed to my Mother. This time around, it was different. The text messages were for me and hey, they went straight to my heart. It's like everyone understood the sacrifices, hardships and joys a new mom experiences.

Early in the morning, we headed to Christ the King to attend the Christening of Polo's kumpare, Luis Alleandre. Luis' parents Claire and Vlad decided to make me his Godmother. We weren't able to join Luis' reception but heard mass instead.

Polo with Luis

After that, we met up with my Mommy, Daddy, Jaz at my sister Joanne's house in Cubao. We celebrated Mother's Day with the Tan Clan. We exchanged gifts. I gave Ate and Mommy Mother's Day cards with personalized messages that made me cry even as I wrote them. Hehehe... Marvin and I also promised Mommy a free massage treat at the Spa, which she scheduled the next day. Ate Jo gave me a giraffe stuff toy for Polo and a kikay headband. While, Jaz gave me a cool set of turquiose earrings with a note that kinda said "thank you for being my 2nd mom."

In the afternoon, we all decided to go to Eastwood.

All the Mara ladies... malling in Eastwood

To end the day, we had a dinner feast at Somethin' Fishy. I got a special kiss from my Honey as well.

How sweet!!! One of the best gifts I received for Mother's Day. O yeah, btw, Marvin and Polo gave me a Happy Birthday Card for Mother's Day. Late did Marvin realize that the tune played by the "singing" card was "happy birthday to you..." Just the same, I was touched by their message. :0 Kakaiyak!!!

A Winning Creation

I won!!! Wohoo!!!

Our company organized a design your own paperboat contest. Deadline for submission of entries was yesterday. Inspired by the words of Bo Sanchez in his book, 8 Secrets of the Truly Rich, I pursued one of my main interests and used one of my core gifts (Naks!!! I'm still figuring out how I can turn it into something money making, though...).

So viola! Here it is, my entry. My very own paperboat. :)

It's not your typical folded-origami paperboat but it still is made out of paper. One of the organizers of the contest told me that out of 25 entries, they chose my paperboat because I was the only one who thought of a non-folded paperboat. Cool! Talk about thinking out of the box.

So there, since creativity is one of my core gifts and interests, I decided to find opportunities to use and hone my skills. This contest will be a small stepping stone for me. :) I'll be on the look out for similar opportunities.

I wonder what my prize will be. It might be a pen or a promo item (Though I hope it will be a trip around the world... SMART Link is the sponsor of the company contest, anyway... hehehe). Well, whatever the prize may be, I'll still cherish it as a wonderful trophy for my creativity. :)

My Babies are Sick

Polo is sick. He has been coughing since last Monday. Marvin is sick, he's been down with cough since last week. I am the only one in our small nuclear family that is still well and healthy.

This is the second time Polo got sick. The first time was with viral as Doctors would call it. He had colds. He was melancholic and lethargic then but after a few days, he got better and was moving and smiling actively. Now, with his cough, he only has gotten worse after 4 days.

This morning, I decided to leave the house late in order to nurse Polo before going to the office. I left him with my Mom while I took a bath and got ready to go to work. While I was dressing up, my Mom came to me worried about Polo's continuous coughing. It was quite non-stop. So we went to my Mom's room to settle him down. We laid him with his back on a pillow and made him to lie down sidewards. He continued coughing until white mucous came out of his mouth. Shocked, I didn't get to respond immediately. Instead of finally coughing it out, Polo ended swallowing it all up again. Yikes...

He is more active now than when he had colds but whenever Marvin and I hear him cough, we are saddened with helplessness and concern.

I ended going to the office late this morning. Late for my 10am mtg and distracted from work. Yeah, things are different now that I am a Mom, especially now that I am nursing a sick son (and husband...). I now have to juggle work and family. I now have to learn to shift my focus from family to work and back again.

There's a bit of a struggle for me considering that I am a focused worker. Focused worker, meaning, I zero in on my task at hand when working. I can handle multi-tasking but my current job already entails a lot of multitasking that to add other stuff like family matters is quite a stretch for me.

Well, if I envision being an excellent working mom, then I better learn the ropes and start my balancing act, right? Ok, then. Well, back to work, Jopay.

What do you call it?

Male bonding. That's what I call it. :)

I'm sure a few years more and Polo would no longer agree to this. Hehehe...

A Vision of Calm Blue Peace

The other night, I pondered about who I am and how I deal with friendship and relate with people when the feeling of insecurity visited me. Thoughts of past rejection and grade school friendship hurts caused me to shed a couple of tear before I closed my eyes and fell asleep. What a way to shush oneself to sleep, you would say, right?

I would say that the way I woke up the day after was so much better. A vision of calmness, identity and dignity was my morning visitor. That's why.

In a dream, I had a vision of my Lolo Andy. We were all gathering to visit him in the ICU of a hospital. I could sense that his condition was bad because my Ate, Mom and Tita Mina were standing outside the ICU door with teary eyes and red noses. Instead of going straight to Lolo's room, Marvin, Jaz, and I with Polo went straight to our room (I wonder if one of us was sick because we had our own room). After settling down in our room, I found Polo awake so I decided to bring him with me to visit Lolo.

When we entered Lolo's room, everyone else was busy eating and chatting as if it were a merienda gathering. I looked to the hospital bed and only saw my cousins and Tita's sitting on the bed so I asked for Lolo. "Gising pa ba siya, gising pa ba siya?" (Is he still awake, is he still awake?) was what I asked everyone in an almost panicky tone. No one actually answered me. They all gave me a certain look as if asking me to rephrase my question. I only understood their weird gazes at me when I finally found Lolo, sitting on a chair quite far from his bed. He turned to face me with a smile that answered my concern. Yes, I am so much awake as I am alive. He held his own paper plate filled with Filipino merienda. Relieved and a bit surprised, I greeted him and presented Polo to him for the first time (In my dream, Polo is as old as he is now -- 4 months old). Lolo acknowledged Polo without saying a word and smiled at me. After a few minutes in the room, Polo and I left the room as if our mission was accomplished.

His hair was all white and shaved. His face was clear from facial hair. His eyebrows and eyelashes were dark black. He was pretty much healthy and well. What struck me about the vision was his eyes. They were clear blue, the color of a calm clean sea. When I looked into them, my inner being was calmed and at peace.

As soon as the dream ended, I woke up and cried. This is the second time Lolo Andy visited me in a dream. At both instances, I ended up crying. I cry because I am touched by his presence. Thinking of him and even encountering him in my subconsciousness, puts me at ease. Maybe this is because thoughts of him remind me of the heritage of values and integrity he left for us to live and the abundant treasure of talents and passion his blood line has given us as inheritance.

My vision of him seems to oppose my feelings of insecurity. It seems that he visits my dreams to remind me to hold my head up and be secure in knowing that I am a unlike most. I am my own, unique and special. :)

Such Comfort

It was not so long ago when poopoo time was the constant thing that made Polo smile. I know that it's weird but I guess, it has something to do with the relief he feels everytime he poops.

Now, he smiles every single time he wakes up to see Marvin and I by his side. When he wakes up in the morning, when rocks and headbangs himself to wakefulness in the middle of the night, when his sleep is disrupted by his father's sneeze or snore (ye!) anytime of the day, he'll smile as long as his parents are the first ones he sees.

His smile is not any ordinary smile. It comes with a certain cute-shy-may-i-melt-with-happiness expression. Marvin and I keep recounting the moments we see him react this way whenever he sees us when he wakes up.

I love it. Not just because it's cute and heart-melting but mostly because it shows that he recognizes who his parents are and finds security, comfort and joy whenever he acknowledges our presence. Look at it this way, instead of waking up crying in the middle of the night, he actually looks for us and then smiles upon spotting us right beside him. Awww...

When God Blessed Jacob

“I, the LORD, am the God of your forefather Abrahamand the God of Isaac;the land on which you are lyingI will give to you and your descendants.These shall be as plentiful as the dust of the earth,and through them you shall spread out east and west, north and south.In you and your descendantsall the nations of the earth shall find blessing.Know that I am with you;I will protect you wherever you go,and bring you back to this land.I will never leave you until I have done what I promised you.”

This is part of today's 1st reading. It's God's promise to Jacob. I claim it as my own and receive God's blessing upon my life and upon my family.

Thank you, Lord for your love, faithfulness and promise to always be with us, protect us wherever we go, and never leave us until Your promises come to pass.

In my heart of hearts I know that we will receive your promise of abundance, security, service, peace, joy and love. Amen.

Daddy Marvin

Commemorating Marvin's 1st Father's Day... We had a 2 day celebration to honor Marvin.

Marvin & Polo at Bonifacio High Street

Day1: June 16, Saturday

Our small family nucleus (Marvin, Polo and I plus Rissa - our new household helper) headed to Dr. Joey's clinic in Manila Doctor's for Polo's pre-4th month check up. He'd be vaccinated once again. This time around it will be the 5-in-1 type.

Polo lying on Doc Joey's weighing scale

We arrived at the hospital at 11am, an hour earlier than Doc Joey's clinic schedule. Polo was Doc Joey's #3 patient in line. We laid Polo on the clinic's weighing scale. Ala! He is now 4+ lbs heavier and 10cm longer! His built is that of a 6-month old baby. Way to go, Polo! Your Dad's hopes of having a 6-footer son is within reach. Hehehe!

Full view of Polo rocking Doc Joey's weighing scale

When Doc Joey saw Polo, he pinched his cheeks and made funny faces to connect and play with Polo. He lectured us about dental stuff, warned us against using a walker because it prohibits the correct development of "walking" muscles and adviced us against exposing Polo to too much tv. Goodbye GKNB, Wowowee, and evening teleseryes for Polo! Hahaha!

The Agustins and the Ortiz-Luis at Congo Grille, SM MOA



The Daddies exchanging bottle-feeding notes

After 2 hrs or so, we were now headed to SM Mall of Asia to have a pre-Father's Day lunch with our couple friends Phipo-Roda+Ethan and Arland-Tina. Phipo, Roda and Ethan reserved a table and ordered lunch at Congo Grille. Arland and Tina couldn't make it that early so we met them for merienda instead. The highlight of our lunch was Papa Piolo Pascual, our surprise guest!

Papa Piolo!!! with the starstuck Daddies with their clueless sons

Piolo came in the restaurant in the middle of our late lunch meal. Apparently, Watson's was having a presscon there to launch a new scent that Piolo was endorsing. It was a good day for Piolo to dropby. His presence made Marvin and Phipo's pre-Father's Day get-together a bit more exciting. Kaya ayun, the Dads and their sons didn't pass up the photo opportunity with Papa Piolo! Marvin with Polo and Phipo with Ethan had easy access to Piolo. They didn't need to fall in line and go through the tight security guarding Piolo outside the resto.

Look at the security guarding Piolo outside Congo Grille!

Phipo, Roda and Ethan had to leave right after our meal while we waited a few more hours to meet up with Arland and Tina for merienda at Sugarhouse. Marvin and I shared a slice of apple pie. I'm sure Polo tasted it in his milk later that evening. :)

We went home at around 6pm but not without stopping by SM Dept store, which is Polo's favorite Mall, to buy diapers and socks for Polo. Polo's diaper size has been upgraded to Medium as well as his socks for his growing feet.

Day2: Mass at Sanctuario de San Antonio with Tita Jaz, Lolo and Lola then Dinner at Bonifacio High Street with the Tans

We heard mass at 4:30pm. I was brave enough not to bring supply of milk for Polo. Good thing he showed signs of hunger only towards the end of the mass. I fed him in the car on the way to Bonifacio High Street.

Capturing the sunset at Serendra

At Bonifacio High Street, we walked around and took pictures to commemorate Marvin's 1st Father's Day. We also checked out Serendra since it was our first time to go there. While walking, we bumped into a number of familiar faces: Cathy Bodestyne - now married with 2 sons was with her family and parents; The Parrenos were there celebrating Father's Day while entertaining a balikbayan guest; Tito Edwin, an art director family friend dropby to give Lolo Dante a painting he made; A biking buddy kababata (I forgot his name... hehehe) was having dinner with a friend; 2 officemates with their respective families; and 2 former Scholastican schoolmates were checking out the stores there.

Father & Son moment

Dinner was at Brother's Burger, the more affordable resto in the area that served food good for Isaiah and Praise, my pamangkins. Couldn't get enough of their onion rings and french fries! I munched down a lot of those right after feeding Polo in the car (for lack of a better breastfeeding station in the area). After Dinner, the Tans headed to Timezone for rounds of videoke fun, which was Tyrone's Father's Day wish come true. Lolo and Lola and Tita Jaz joined in the fun while we, the Agustins strolled Polo around the area.

The whole clan waiting for our dinner at Bros Burger

We bought Hillsongs' newest CD for Daddy Marvin and another Kids Song Praise CD for Baby Polo. It was almost 10pm when we decided to have dessert at Krispy Kreme. We ordered 2 dozen of donuts. I had the french crueler (not sure if the spelling is correct), lemon filled donut and a regular honey glazed one. Yup, I decided to have my fill of the famous Krispy Kreme before heading home to finally put tired Polo to bed.

The 1st born Agustin and 1st born Tan posing with Lolo and Lola at Krispy Kreme

That was our Father's Day treat for Daddy Marvin. At the end of the day, we were happy to spend all our energies making that day memorable.

End-of-day Agustin Family Pic

Crying Over Spilled Milk

This morning I reluctantly disposed 2oz of breastmilk. I expressed it early this morning then went back to sleep only to find it being feasted on by ants after two hours. How could I have been sooo complacent???

I was too numb to cry over the loss. It hurts to see my labor of love go down the drain just like that. Oh well, I have to let that go and cling to the Sole Provider of All Good Things and trust that He will make a way and provide. (",)

I Don't Mind

My boss called me in for a one-on-one mtg this afternoon and briefed me about the changes our organization will undergo.

In sumo total, instead of reporting directly to her, I'll report to a manager.

How does this affect me? Well, I don't mind. I don't see it a demotion or anything. I admit that there's still a lot for me to learn and my new manager can definitely provide that.

How about my chance for a promotion? Well, I don't mind. I'll be promoted when I'm ready. It will come. As I see it, right now, I'm not yet ripe.

I also know that the Captain of My Ship will transport me from here to there in due time so I don't mind. :)

Precious Moments

This morning I woke up at 5am, as I usually do, to nurse Polo. Half-asleep, he stops crying and actively starts gulping down the milk he nurses. After a few minutes, he is sleeping yet again, gently stops nursing and then, smiles. Awww... what a sweet smile. Still asleep, he flashes me a couple more heart-melting reassuring smiles. That's how he reciprocates the love and comfort I give him. I smile back to respond to his sweet dreamy gesture and hold dear in my heart precious moments like this that would last forever. :)

A Breastfeeding Mom's New Gadget

I feel like I gained earned extra powers. My new breastpump is electric and it's a Medela!

I've been dreaming about owning a breastpump like this even before giving birth to Polo. When I gave birth to Polo, I wasn't really sure if I would be able to breastfeed so I made do with the Pigeon manual breastpump I borrowed from my sister. After using my sister's pump for a few days, my hand started to ache so bad. After a few more weeks, I began breaking some of it's delicate parts. It just wasn't sturdy (or my hand was just to heavy for delicate things).

Then came, the Ameda Egnell one-hand manual breastpump sent from the States by my in-laws. It was ergonomic and easy to use. I searched the net and discovered that the Ameda pump was even hospital grade just like Medela and Avent breastpumps. However, my hand would eventually stiffen after using it for 10-15min which would make me pump more heavier. It just wasn't the ideal breastpump for my busy working mom lifestyle.

Last thursday, I ended up stressed out and exhausted from trying to beat the clock all through the night while expressing milk for Polo. Only to find out that I was 1 bottle or 4oz short for my supply for the day, I was fretting during the day. All that worry caused me chills, a terrible headache, body pain and frequent and unpleasant trips to the comfort room. I ended up weak and nauseated the whole weekend!

I had to properly handle the pressure and stress of making sure Polo has sufficient milk supply for a day but I knew that I needed help. Only a more efficient and reliable breastpump could do the trick.

Thanks to my ever understanding and caring husband, I'm now a happy owner of a Medela mini-electric single breastpump! It's one gadget breastfeeding working moms should have :)

Months & Milestones

It used to be weeks that I counted when it came to Polo's development that was because he was still in my womb. Now, I measure his growth in terms of the months and milestones...

He has learned how to feed on his fists and fingers. No wonder he's a good boy! He uses his fists to satisfy his hunger. Hehehe...

He stays awake for at least 30-45 minutes now. We have more time to play! We're playing "Pong Pong Kasile" here.



Goodbye fetal position. He's now more comfortable sleeping on his back. He still likes to cuddle especially when he wants to fall asleep. Cuddling him is my favorite past-time.


The frequency of his poop and pee has decreased a bit. Yey! That means we'll have savings from our diaper budget. Hehehe...

We can now hear his laugh. It now comes with a sound! He kept laughing last thursday when I repeated the words of Heidi Klum in the final episode of Project Runway, "Who, will be the winner of project runway..." I got him laughing even by just saying "Who, who, who" over and over again. :)