Male bonding. That's what I call it. :)
I'm sure a few years more and Polo would no longer agree to this. Hehehe...
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
A Vision of Calm Blue Peace
The other night, I pondered about who I am and how I deal with friendship and relate with people when the feeling of insecurity visited me. Thoughts of past rejection and grade school friendship hurts caused me to shed a couple of tear before I closed my eyes and fell asleep. What a way to shush oneself to sleep, you would say, right?
I would say that the way I woke up the day after was so much better. A vision of calmness, identity and dignity was my morning visitor. That's why.
In a dream, I had a vision of my Lolo Andy. We were all gathering to visit him in the ICU of a hospital. I could sense that his condition was bad because my Ate, Mom and Tita Mina were standing outside the ICU door with teary eyes and red noses. Instead of going straight to Lolo's room, Marvin, Jaz, and I with Polo went straight to our room (I wonder if one of us was sick because we had our own room). After settling down in our room, I found Polo awake so I decided to bring him with me to visit Lolo.
When we entered Lolo's room, everyone else was busy eating and chatting as if it were a merienda gathering. I looked to the hospital bed and only saw my cousins and Tita's sitting on the bed so I asked for Lolo. "Gising pa ba siya, gising pa ba siya?" (Is he still awake, is he still awake?) was what I asked everyone in an almost panicky tone. No one actually answered me. They all gave me a certain look as if asking me to rephrase my question. I only understood their weird gazes at me when I finally found Lolo, sitting on a chair quite far from his bed. He turned to face me with a smile that answered my concern. Yes, I am so much awake as I am alive. He held his own paper plate filled with Filipino merienda. Relieved and a bit surprised, I greeted him and presented Polo to him for the first time (In my dream, Polo is as old as he is now -- 4 months old). Lolo acknowledged Polo without saying a word and smiled at me. After a few minutes in the room, Polo and I left the room as if our mission was accomplished.
His hair was all white and shaved. His face was clear from facial hair. His eyebrows and eyelashes were dark black. He was pretty much healthy and well. What struck me about the vision was his eyes. They were clear blue, the color of a calm clean sea. When I looked into them, my inner being was calmed and at peace.
As soon as the dream ended, I woke up and cried. This is the second time Lolo Andy visited me in a dream. At both instances, I ended up crying. I cry because I am touched by his presence. Thinking of him and even encountering him in my subconsciousness, puts me at ease. Maybe this is because thoughts of him remind me of the heritage of values and integrity he left for us to live and the abundant treasure of talents and passion his blood line has given us as inheritance.
My vision of him seems to oppose my feelings of insecurity. It seems that he visits my dreams to remind me to hold my head up and be secure in knowing that I am a unlike most. I am my own, unique and special. :)
I would say that the way I woke up the day after was so much better. A vision of calmness, identity and dignity was my morning visitor. That's why.
In a dream, I had a vision of my Lolo Andy. We were all gathering to visit him in the ICU of a hospital. I could sense that his condition was bad because my Ate, Mom and Tita Mina were standing outside the ICU door with teary eyes and red noses. Instead of going straight to Lolo's room, Marvin, Jaz, and I with Polo went straight to our room (I wonder if one of us was sick because we had our own room). After settling down in our room, I found Polo awake so I decided to bring him with me to visit Lolo.
When we entered Lolo's room, everyone else was busy eating and chatting as if it were a merienda gathering. I looked to the hospital bed and only saw my cousins and Tita's sitting on the bed so I asked for Lolo. "Gising pa ba siya, gising pa ba siya?" (Is he still awake, is he still awake?) was what I asked everyone in an almost panicky tone. No one actually answered me. They all gave me a certain look as if asking me to rephrase my question. I only understood their weird gazes at me when I finally found Lolo, sitting on a chair quite far from his bed. He turned to face me with a smile that answered my concern. Yes, I am so much awake as I am alive. He held his own paper plate filled with Filipino merienda. Relieved and a bit surprised, I greeted him and presented Polo to him for the first time (In my dream, Polo is as old as he is now -- 4 months old). Lolo acknowledged Polo without saying a word and smiled at me. After a few minutes in the room, Polo and I left the room as if our mission was accomplished.
His hair was all white and shaved. His face was clear from facial hair. His eyebrows and eyelashes were dark black. He was pretty much healthy and well. What struck me about the vision was his eyes. They were clear blue, the color of a calm clean sea. When I looked into them, my inner being was calmed and at peace.
As soon as the dream ended, I woke up and cried. This is the second time Lolo Andy visited me in a dream. At both instances, I ended up crying. I cry because I am touched by his presence. Thinking of him and even encountering him in my subconsciousness, puts me at ease. Maybe this is because thoughts of him remind me of the heritage of values and integrity he left for us to live and the abundant treasure of talents and passion his blood line has given us as inheritance.
My vision of him seems to oppose my feelings of insecurity. It seems that he visits my dreams to remind me to hold my head up and be secure in knowing that I am a unlike most. I am my own, unique and special. :)
Such Comfort
It was not so long ago when poopoo time was the constant thing that made Polo smile. I know that it's weird but I guess, it has something to do with the relief he feels everytime he poops.
Now, he smiles every single time he wakes up to see Marvin and I by his side. When he wakes up in the morning, when rocks and headbangs himself to wakefulness in the middle of the night, when his sleep is disrupted by his father's sneeze or snore (ye!) anytime of the day, he'll smile as long as his parents are the first ones he sees.
His smile is not any ordinary smile. It comes with a certain cute-shy-may-i-melt-with-happiness expression. Marvin and I keep recounting the moments we see him react this way whenever he sees us when he wakes up.
I love it. Not just because it's cute and heart-melting but mostly because it shows that he recognizes who his parents are and finds security, comfort and joy whenever he acknowledges our presence. Look at it this way, instead of waking up crying in the middle of the night, he actually looks for us and then smiles upon spotting us right beside him. Awww...
Now, he smiles every single time he wakes up to see Marvin and I by his side. When he wakes up in the morning, when rocks and headbangs himself to wakefulness in the middle of the night, when his sleep is disrupted by his father's sneeze or snore (ye!) anytime of the day, he'll smile as long as his parents are the first ones he sees.
His smile is not any ordinary smile. It comes with a certain cute-shy-may-i-melt-with-happiness expression. Marvin and I keep recounting the moments we see him react this way whenever he sees us when he wakes up.
I love it. Not just because it's cute and heart-melting but mostly because it shows that he recognizes who his parents are and finds security, comfort and joy whenever he acknowledges our presence. Look at it this way, instead of waking up crying in the middle of the night, he actually looks for us and then smiles upon spotting us right beside him. Awww...
Sunday, July 08, 2007
When God Blessed Jacob
“I, the LORD, am the God of your forefather Abrahamand the God of Isaac;the land on which you are lyingI will give to you and your descendants.These shall be as plentiful as the dust of the earth,and through them you shall spread out east and west, north and south.In you and your descendantsall the nations of the earth shall find blessing.Know that I am with you;I will protect you wherever you go,and bring you back to this land.I will never leave you until I have done what I promised you.”
This is part of today's 1st reading. It's God's promise to Jacob. I claim it as my own and receive God's blessing upon my life and upon my family.
Thank you, Lord for your love, faithfulness and promise to always be with us, protect us wherever we go, and never leave us until Your promises come to pass.
In my heart of hearts I know that we will receive your promise of abundance, security, service, peace, joy and love. Amen.
This is part of today's 1st reading. It's God's promise to Jacob. I claim it as my own and receive God's blessing upon my life and upon my family.
Thank you, Lord for your love, faithfulness and promise to always be with us, protect us wherever we go, and never leave us until Your promises come to pass.
In my heart of hearts I know that we will receive your promise of abundance, security, service, peace, joy and love. Amen.
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